would i die to this k-pop dance move

posted may 2025

I am deeply unqualified to write any form of satirical commentary on K-Pop. I know nothing about dance and nothing about Korean culture.

Yet there exists 1 video on YouTube of me dancing to a TWICE song¹. And I reckon that’s 1 more than the median, so here are some K-Pop dance moves that mime weapon usage and my evaluation of whether their weapon usage kills me.

song & weapon	dance move	would i die
Cupid — Fifty Fifty bow & arrow		no lol, not only do they not let go of the bow string (their closed fists never open), they invert (??) the bow?
Kill This Love — Blackpink a rifle?		probably not, it looks like terrible recoil control so they probably miss, though their trigger hand looks like a second secret finger gun? :O
ON — BTS super saiyan explosive wave		yes i die to an energy ball explosion
God’s Menu — Stray Kids a burger patty launched into the sky?		lowkey if it’s fresh off the grill and actually is launched at me I think it’d hurt a ton but I don’t think I die
HIP — Mamamoo pistol		no, she leans back while shooting which I think is a common beginner posture mistake which I think means she misses
In The Morning — ITZY dual-wielding pistols		maybe, it looks like they had the time to aim and I guess they took 5 x 2 shots as a group. this is mostly here because I was tickled at how they look fiercest when they’re holstering their finger guns